Post by L.C. Pinkston on Aug 6, 2023 10:28:45 GMT -5
The sounds of wheels dragging across the concrete sidewalk bring a bit of ambiance. Several people shuffle around as one man clears a path through everyone. His body is bandaged all over but one in particular is a deep crimson and covers most of his stomach.
“Yeah don’t worry babe I’m fine.” Lewis holds his phone to his ear. He was more than fine other than the obvious. He pulled off one of the greatest upsets in the short Triad history. Well, it was an upset to everyone not named Lewis. “This is what I signed up for. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.”
Lewis bumps into a man and quickly gives him an apologetic nod. “I know. Tell me, how did it look on TV? What did that dip shit Knox’s face look like?” There were a few murmurs on the other end as Lewis’ face fell slightly. “You mean to tell me that all he could muster up was a little bit of anger? I expected more from the top of the Bitch List and my biggest detractor.”
Lewis, still dragging his disheveled suitcase behind him approaches a dock. Several of the other participants are there and roll their eyes at Lewis as he walks to board the boat. “Sorry love, but I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you in Bermuda. Yes. I love you too. Win, Lose or Draw.” Lewis flicks his phone closed. Yes it’s a flip phone. They are just sturdier and he’s not ashamed of it.
He approaches the deckhand on the boat. A firm hand to the middle of his chest, Lewis stops in his tracks. He throws his arms to his side. “What the hell man? Don’t you know who I am?” With one major win under his belt Lewis is already playing the big dog card, however it didn’t matter to the deckhand.
“Unfortunately I do.” The man sighs. “But…”
“No buts.” Lewis struggles to lift his suitcase and tosses it over the man’s shoulder and onto the deck behind him. “If I can’t get on now, that’s fine but I’m not carrying this shit around all day.”
If looks could kill, Lewis would be dead. Thankfully for M.E.P. (Main Event Pinkston) today wasn’t one of those weird days. Lewis smiled and threw some finger guns towards the man. “Stay frosty my guy. I’ll see you on the ship when it leaves port.”
“Doub….”
Lewis pulls out his headphones and tosses them in his ears. He wasn’t concerned with what the lowly Deckhand had to say. After meandering around the docks for a few minutes Lewis notices a party down on the beach. “Well it would be rude of me if I don’t go down there and crash their party.”
He takes his headphones off and tosses them in his pocket and slowly walks down the dune leading to the beach. As he approaches, some of the people seemingly notice Lewis.
Lewis gets a little embarrassed but pressed forward. “One win and people are already flocking to me.” Lewis holds a hand up to wave as a handful of the party goers run up to him. “Now hold on eve—-”
The people rush past Lewis. A confused Lewis turns around and sees them all flocking around a man dressed in black. “Oh come on! It’s like a million degrees out here! Isn’t his guy-liner going to run?”
Lewis just knew it had to be him. After leaving the park last time and he sat there watching it all happen, he just knew deep in his loins. “Fucking Stratford, Trying to steal my shine! The Tirad is and has always been mine!”
Without a second to spare Lewis marches up to the people and shoves a few of them out of the way. He grabs the man in black and spins him around. “Listen here you……” Lewis’ voice trails off.
This wasn’t Stratford. It was…
Criss Angel The MINDFREAK?
“Sorry bro, but you’re in my shot.” Criss said to Lewis as he waves him off.
“Your shot? You’re still shooting your show? Wasn’t that canceled like a decade ago?” Lewis looks around but doesn’t see any cameras or production staff.
“Yeah, but I’m making a comeback.” Criss points towards a random person. “That’s my camera guy. The camera is in his glasses.” Criss waves his hands in front of the man’s face and whispers. “mindfreak.”
Lewis shakes his head and then shrugs. “It’s good to know that Stratford has a career after all of this as a Criss Angel stand-in.”
“Is he overly douchey?” Criss said as his face perked up.
“Sure is, well maybe not as much as Catrina and Thad but yeah. And he’s great with crowds of people that don’t like him.” Lewis pats Criss on the shoulder. “Sorry, I guess for ruining your shot. What’s the trick anyways?”
“Trying to get people to give me money when all my talent is gone.” Criss said as he pulled out several wallets.
“Wow!” Lewis’ eyes go wide. “JUST LIKE STRATFORD!” With a pair of finger guns Lewis begins to walk away.
Off in the distance Lewis sees that the boat is getting ready to board. “Well I guess right here is as good as any. Are you here buddy?”
Narrator:
Unfortuna… wait was that Criss Angel?
“Yup.” Lewis clasps his hands together. “But enough about that. What about this scenery we are getting to enjoy before we head to the beautiful Bermuda?”
Narrator:
It is nice I guess.
“We’ve got a few minutes before the boat leaves?” Lewis looks over towards the boat.
Narrator:
Give or take.
“Good.” Lewis looks around and smiles. “We’ve got boats.” Lewis holds his hand out towards the bay, paying particular attention to the yacht directly to his left. “And we’ve got some Hoes.” His arm swings to the right and ends up on a beach. Several people are sunbathing, as the camera zooms in on some extremely muscled men. Lewis’ head pops in the shot. “Oi!” The camera shakes and then zooms out to see a plethora of people enjoying the beach. It pans across some ladies. Never staying too long on a single one. “That’s better. Right. Where was I?”
Narrator:
Lewis, please resist the urge.
“BOATS N HOES!”
Narrator:
Dammit.
“Come on man. You know I’m a sucker for a cliche.”
Narrator:
One of your more annoying personal traits to say the least.
“Come on man. You know you like them too. They are super popular for a reason. Every.” Lewis pounds his fist into his open palm. “One.” He does it again adding emphasis. “Loves.” Once more however this time Lewis hits himself harder and shakes out his hand that is now throbbing. “Ow. Them. It’s why to this day you still see parodies of the Titanic scene. I don’t have to tell you which one. And you know what I’m talking about.”
Narrator:
I’m King of the World!
“See, now you’re getting it. Cliches are the one thing that stays throughout all of entertainment. If they didn’t exist, well then things would just become stale.” Lewis licks his lips and continues. “Thad is the all American Sex Driven pseudo jock, who thinks he runs the world, but under that tough exterior is a man filled with so many anxieties. I mean the guy killed his own dad.” Cue a massive eye roll from Lewis. “And he brags about it like it’s something to be proud of. Yet this is the guy we are supposed to be rooting for? Get fucking real. Thad can eat a massive bowl of dicks.”
Narrator:
He might like that.
“I never said I wasn’t generous or kind.” Lewis bends down and picks up a pebble from under his feet. He tosses it a few times in his palm before skipping it across the top of the water. “Let’s be real Cat and Thad. Time to cut you down at the knees and dispute what you’re going to say. I got lucky. I didn’t earn my win. I was just at the right place at the right time. I don’t stand a chance against either of you. Maybe, both of you are good at this however this is all you’re good at. Sure, Thad has billions of dollars and can do anything he wants in this world. Up to and including deluding his child into the next Great Value Brand Batman, but I must digress, you keep coming back to wrestling because it’s what you’re told to do. They tell you you’re nothing without it, so like a good little soldier you go right back. Same with Cat. You’re in this industry because you were told that you would thrive. Told that you would be one of the best to ever do it and you would constantly Level Up and spread Carnage wherever you land. So when they tell you where and when to go, you go.” Lewis wets his lips and coughs slightly. “I’m here because it’s what I choose to do. I choose to walk down to the ring. I choose to fight when the odds are always stacked against me. No one, not my wife, not TLS, not even God himself dictates what I do.”
“I’m here because of my own volition, good or bad, I choose to be here. Hell even if it isn’t my match, I’m ready to go.” Lewis pauses for a moment before continuing. “No matter how many people have told me that I don’t deserve to be in a ring with them. Despite the fact that since the day I walked in, the scoffs were louder than Sahara when she doesn’t get her way. No matter how many people have told me I don’t belong, I continue to prove all of them wrong. Week in and week out. Match by match, I’m getting better and better.”
“That should put a bit of pause in your hearts. Knox talked a big game and failed. Alexandurr thought less of me and look where that got him. The only saving grace you have right now Thad is the fact that you beat me on night one and yet somehow… We are only separated by one point.” Lewis holds out his hands and begins counting on them. “And of course there’s Cat. Leading the pack, along with Vhodka with four points. Two weeks in and I’m only two behind you. It’s as if the gods have spoken. They have laid groundwork for me to ruin everyone’s night, in one swoop I’ll be able to show everyone that no matter all of your accolades. Despite my unknowing nature. Without fail I can change the course of The Triad.”
“All I’ve got to do is pin Cat. That gives me a deuce, Thad a one spot and Cat goes home empty handed. Leaving all of us stranded on Four.” Lewis smiles and raises an eyebrow. “To my fan I don’t have to say it twice. To the skeptics like Knox and Alexandurr, no amount of proof will ever be enough. To Thad and Cat, it was over well before it began. So let this be a warning. What you saw of me on night one Thad, was all part of the plan. You only saw what I allowed you to see. No Heat Seeker is going to take me out this time. And Cat? Your flippy shit is pointless and just because it looks good doesn’t mean it works.”
“The era of LCP started last week, and the train continues this week. Both of you can bend over and bite the pillow as hard as you can.”
Narrator:
Uhhh Lew…. It looks like the boat is leaving.
“Nah. It wouldn’t leave witho—-”Lewis notices the boat untying itself from the dock. “FUCK!”
Lewis takes off running through the sand. As he eventually reaches the concrete path towards the docks, he for some reason pats his pockets. Then he turns searching the beach.
Narrator:
Why are you stopping?
“Where’s my wallet?” Lewis continues to survey the beach. Out of the corner of his eye he spots Criss Angel. The two men lock eyes for a moment and Angel takes off running away from Lewis.
“DAMN YOU CRISS ANGEL! Now I’ll never get a new Switch!” Lewis throws both arms high in the sky and bellows. Lewis takes a few steps towards him when the sound of the boat horn goes off. “Fuck!”
Left between the decision to get his wallet or on the boat to Bermuda, Lewis chooses the boat. He takes off towards the dock.
Fade.
“Yeah don’t worry babe I’m fine.” Lewis holds his phone to his ear. He was more than fine other than the obvious. He pulled off one of the greatest upsets in the short Triad history. Well, it was an upset to everyone not named Lewis. “This is what I signed up for. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.”
Lewis bumps into a man and quickly gives him an apologetic nod. “I know. Tell me, how did it look on TV? What did that dip shit Knox’s face look like?” There were a few murmurs on the other end as Lewis’ face fell slightly. “You mean to tell me that all he could muster up was a little bit of anger? I expected more from the top of the Bitch List and my biggest detractor.”
Lewis, still dragging his disheveled suitcase behind him approaches a dock. Several of the other participants are there and roll their eyes at Lewis as he walks to board the boat. “Sorry love, but I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you in Bermuda. Yes. I love you too. Win, Lose or Draw.” Lewis flicks his phone closed. Yes it’s a flip phone. They are just sturdier and he’s not ashamed of it.
He approaches the deckhand on the boat. A firm hand to the middle of his chest, Lewis stops in his tracks. He throws his arms to his side. “What the hell man? Don’t you know who I am?” With one major win under his belt Lewis is already playing the big dog card, however it didn’t matter to the deckhand.
“Unfortunately I do.” The man sighs. “But…”
“No buts.” Lewis struggles to lift his suitcase and tosses it over the man’s shoulder and onto the deck behind him. “If I can’t get on now, that’s fine but I’m not carrying this shit around all day.”
If looks could kill, Lewis would be dead. Thankfully for M.E.P. (Main Event Pinkston) today wasn’t one of those weird days. Lewis smiled and threw some finger guns towards the man. “Stay frosty my guy. I’ll see you on the ship when it leaves port.”
“Doub….”
Lewis pulls out his headphones and tosses them in his ears. He wasn’t concerned with what the lowly Deckhand had to say. After meandering around the docks for a few minutes Lewis notices a party down on the beach. “Well it would be rude of me if I don’t go down there and crash their party.”
He takes his headphones off and tosses them in his pocket and slowly walks down the dune leading to the beach. As he approaches, some of the people seemingly notice Lewis.
Lewis gets a little embarrassed but pressed forward. “One win and people are already flocking to me.” Lewis holds a hand up to wave as a handful of the party goers run up to him. “Now hold on eve—-”
The people rush past Lewis. A confused Lewis turns around and sees them all flocking around a man dressed in black. “Oh come on! It’s like a million degrees out here! Isn’t his guy-liner going to run?”
Lewis just knew it had to be him. After leaving the park last time and he sat there watching it all happen, he just knew deep in his loins. “Fucking Stratford, Trying to steal my shine! The Tirad is and has always been mine!”
Without a second to spare Lewis marches up to the people and shoves a few of them out of the way. He grabs the man in black and spins him around. “Listen here you……” Lewis’ voice trails off.
This wasn’t Stratford. It was…
Criss Angel The MINDFREAK?
“Sorry bro, but you’re in my shot.” Criss said to Lewis as he waves him off.
“Your shot? You’re still shooting your show? Wasn’t that canceled like a decade ago?” Lewis looks around but doesn’t see any cameras or production staff.
“Yeah, but I’m making a comeback.” Criss points towards a random person. “That’s my camera guy. The camera is in his glasses.” Criss waves his hands in front of the man’s face and whispers. “mindfreak.”
Lewis shakes his head and then shrugs. “It’s good to know that Stratford has a career after all of this as a Criss Angel stand-in.”
“Is he overly douchey?” Criss said as his face perked up.
“Sure is, well maybe not as much as Catrina and Thad but yeah. And he’s great with crowds of people that don’t like him.” Lewis pats Criss on the shoulder. “Sorry, I guess for ruining your shot. What’s the trick anyways?”
“Trying to get people to give me money when all my talent is gone.” Criss said as he pulled out several wallets.
“Wow!” Lewis’ eyes go wide. “JUST LIKE STRATFORD!” With a pair of finger guns Lewis begins to walk away.
Off in the distance Lewis sees that the boat is getting ready to board. “Well I guess right here is as good as any. Are you here buddy?”
Narrator:
Unfortuna… wait was that Criss Angel?
“Yup.” Lewis clasps his hands together. “But enough about that. What about this scenery we are getting to enjoy before we head to the beautiful Bermuda?”
Narrator:
It is nice I guess.
“We’ve got a few minutes before the boat leaves?” Lewis looks over towards the boat.
Narrator:
Give or take.
“Good.” Lewis looks around and smiles. “We’ve got boats.” Lewis holds his hand out towards the bay, paying particular attention to the yacht directly to his left. “And we’ve got some Hoes.” His arm swings to the right and ends up on a beach. Several people are sunbathing, as the camera zooms in on some extremely muscled men. Lewis’ head pops in the shot. “Oi!” The camera shakes and then zooms out to see a plethora of people enjoying the beach. It pans across some ladies. Never staying too long on a single one. “That’s better. Right. Where was I?”
Narrator:
Lewis, please resist the urge.
“BOATS N HOES!”
Narrator:
Dammit.
“Come on man. You know I’m a sucker for a cliche.”
Narrator:
One of your more annoying personal traits to say the least.
“Come on man. You know you like them too. They are super popular for a reason. Every.” Lewis pounds his fist into his open palm. “One.” He does it again adding emphasis. “Loves.” Once more however this time Lewis hits himself harder and shakes out his hand that is now throbbing. “Ow. Them. It’s why to this day you still see parodies of the Titanic scene. I don’t have to tell you which one. And you know what I’m talking about.”
Narrator:
I’m King of the World!
“See, now you’re getting it. Cliches are the one thing that stays throughout all of entertainment. If they didn’t exist, well then things would just become stale.” Lewis licks his lips and continues. “Thad is the all American Sex Driven pseudo jock, who thinks he runs the world, but under that tough exterior is a man filled with so many anxieties. I mean the guy killed his own dad.” Cue a massive eye roll from Lewis. “And he brags about it like it’s something to be proud of. Yet this is the guy we are supposed to be rooting for? Get fucking real. Thad can eat a massive bowl of dicks.”
Narrator:
He might like that.
“I never said I wasn’t generous or kind.” Lewis bends down and picks up a pebble from under his feet. He tosses it a few times in his palm before skipping it across the top of the water. “Let’s be real Cat and Thad. Time to cut you down at the knees and dispute what you’re going to say. I got lucky. I didn’t earn my win. I was just at the right place at the right time. I don’t stand a chance against either of you. Maybe, both of you are good at this however this is all you’re good at. Sure, Thad has billions of dollars and can do anything he wants in this world. Up to and including deluding his child into the next Great Value Brand Batman, but I must digress, you keep coming back to wrestling because it’s what you’re told to do. They tell you you’re nothing without it, so like a good little soldier you go right back. Same with Cat. You’re in this industry because you were told that you would thrive. Told that you would be one of the best to ever do it and you would constantly Level Up and spread Carnage wherever you land. So when they tell you where and when to go, you go.” Lewis wets his lips and coughs slightly. “I’m here because it’s what I choose to do. I choose to walk down to the ring. I choose to fight when the odds are always stacked against me. No one, not my wife, not TLS, not even God himself dictates what I do.”
“I’m here because of my own volition, good or bad, I choose to be here. Hell even if it isn’t my match, I’m ready to go.” Lewis pauses for a moment before continuing. “No matter how many people have told me that I don’t deserve to be in a ring with them. Despite the fact that since the day I walked in, the scoffs were louder than Sahara when she doesn’t get her way. No matter how many people have told me I don’t belong, I continue to prove all of them wrong. Week in and week out. Match by match, I’m getting better and better.”
“That should put a bit of pause in your hearts. Knox talked a big game and failed. Alexandurr thought less of me and look where that got him. The only saving grace you have right now Thad is the fact that you beat me on night one and yet somehow… We are only separated by one point.” Lewis holds out his hands and begins counting on them. “And of course there’s Cat. Leading the pack, along with Vhodka with four points. Two weeks in and I’m only two behind you. It’s as if the gods have spoken. They have laid groundwork for me to ruin everyone’s night, in one swoop I’ll be able to show everyone that no matter all of your accolades. Despite my unknowing nature. Without fail I can change the course of The Triad.”
“All I’ve got to do is pin Cat. That gives me a deuce, Thad a one spot and Cat goes home empty handed. Leaving all of us stranded on Four.” Lewis smiles and raises an eyebrow. “To my fan I don’t have to say it twice. To the skeptics like Knox and Alexandurr, no amount of proof will ever be enough. To Thad and Cat, it was over well before it began. So let this be a warning. What you saw of me on night one Thad, was all part of the plan. You only saw what I allowed you to see. No Heat Seeker is going to take me out this time. And Cat? Your flippy shit is pointless and just because it looks good doesn’t mean it works.”
“The era of LCP started last week, and the train continues this week. Both of you can bend over and bite the pillow as hard as you can.”
Narrator:
Uhhh Lew…. It looks like the boat is leaving.
“Nah. It wouldn’t leave witho—-”Lewis notices the boat untying itself from the dock. “FUCK!”
Lewis takes off running through the sand. As he eventually reaches the concrete path towards the docks, he for some reason pats his pockets. Then he turns searching the beach.
Narrator:
Why are you stopping?
“Where’s my wallet?” Lewis continues to survey the beach. Out of the corner of his eye he spots Criss Angel. The two men lock eyes for a moment and Angel takes off running away from Lewis.
“DAMN YOU CRISS ANGEL! Now I’ll never get a new Switch!” Lewis throws both arms high in the sky and bellows. Lewis takes a few steps towards him when the sound of the boat horn goes off. “Fuck!”
Left between the decision to get his wallet or on the boat to Bermuda, Lewis chooses the boat. He takes off towards the dock.
Fade.