Post by TRI-TIMES on Dec 18, 2023 0:58:39 GMT -5
TRI-TIMES UPDATE
It has been reported several acts of vandalism have taken place within a typically peaceful neighborhood located in Omaha, Nebraska.
The acts have brought concern, dismay, and angst to the perturbed community.
“It just came out of nowhere!”
“We pay steep HOA dues to keep this place clean. This type of behavior is simply unacceptable!”
“I just don’t know if I can go out at night anymore…is it even safe?”
“I GOT KIDS, MAN!”
Yes, the residents are on edge ever since this morning’s startling revelation. The word ‘Dadbod’ was found spray painted on a fence just outside a collection of the cutest little townhomes you’re ever going to find.
“We are taking this matter very seriously,” the sheriff of the local police department assured us when we reached out for comment.
An obvious connection could be drawn to David ‘Dadbod’ Barker of TRIAD fame. This is, in fact, his neighborhood that is being vandalized.
“Mr. Barker is currently a suspect, yes,” the wily sheriff was willing to divulge during our conversation.
We’re not sure how long ‘Dadbod’ will remain a suspect considering he’s been in Cambodia for two straight months but, hey, you must exhaust every avenue when dealing with a crime of this magnitude.
There was one exciting development that came to light earlier this afternoon as a home camera picked up an image of a suspicious looking, unidentified male walking away from the scene of the crime around 3am…just four hours before the vandalism was discovered.
“We aren’t sure who this suspect is or what he has to do with the crime but, trust me, we are taking this matter very seriously,” the sheriff was sure to let me know when I asked about the photo in question.
It’s clear something nefarious is going on in Omaha and it seems to be focused on Dadbod. Who is trying to frame Dadbod? Or, is it some of Dadbods fans getting a little carried away with their celebrations?
Regardless, this once peaceful neighborhood will have trouble resting until this criminal is apprehended.
“This is the most horrible thing to ever happen here, I’m just sick.”
Stay tuned for more updates.
This has been a special report from TRI-TIMES!
It has been reported several acts of vandalism have taken place within a typically peaceful neighborhood located in Omaha, Nebraska.
The acts have brought concern, dismay, and angst to the perturbed community.
“It just came out of nowhere!”
“We pay steep HOA dues to keep this place clean. This type of behavior is simply unacceptable!”
“I just don’t know if I can go out at night anymore…is it even safe?”
“I GOT KIDS, MAN!”
Yes, the residents are on edge ever since this morning’s startling revelation. The word ‘Dadbod’ was found spray painted on a fence just outside a collection of the cutest little townhomes you’re ever going to find.
“We are taking this matter very seriously,” the sheriff of the local police department assured us when we reached out for comment.
An obvious connection could be drawn to David ‘Dadbod’ Barker of TRIAD fame. This is, in fact, his neighborhood that is being vandalized.
“Mr. Barker is currently a suspect, yes,” the wily sheriff was willing to divulge during our conversation.
We’re not sure how long ‘Dadbod’ will remain a suspect considering he’s been in Cambodia for two straight months but, hey, you must exhaust every avenue when dealing with a crime of this magnitude.
There was one exciting development that came to light earlier this afternoon as a home camera picked up an image of a suspicious looking, unidentified male walking away from the scene of the crime around 3am…just four hours before the vandalism was discovered.
“We aren’t sure who this suspect is or what he has to do with the crime but, trust me, we are taking this matter very seriously,” the sheriff was sure to let me know when I asked about the photo in question.
It’s clear something nefarious is going on in Omaha and it seems to be focused on Dadbod. Who is trying to frame Dadbod? Or, is it some of Dadbods fans getting a little carried away with their celebrations?
Regardless, this once peaceful neighborhood will have trouble resting until this criminal is apprehended.
“This is the most horrible thing to ever happen here, I’m just sick.”
Stay tuned for more updates.
This has been a special report from TRI-TIMES!