Post by Plethora the Perilous on Mar 3, 2024 20:14:57 GMT -5
The screen does its familiar flash from darkness to a moment of static.. but then it goes back to darkness. Green fog rises in the darkness and suddenly The Big Bifford, surrounded by the green fog. From within the fog he sees images of Plethora beating up PIC in the last Illuminatus, and then of Meyhu deciding to go up to save him along with the other combatant. Bifford sees this and cringes. Then he sees the moment that Meyhu won the Illuminatus at Carpe Noctem II. Scowling, he throws up his hands.
Bifford: Many think you are the reason I didn't win the last Illuminatus, Matthew Meyhu.
The fog becomes thicker, but a screen begins playing a scene from the first Illuminatus - Bifford as Plethora the Perilous walking into the last chamber covered in Championship gold, but then it skips ahead and shows Outcast victorious.
Bifford: But it's all much deeper than that.. Matthew Meyhu, you may be great and you may be the favorite to win this thing.. but you're blind. You held the OCW Championship and didn't even realize it was illegitimate. It took me and my second OCW title reign to relegitimize the Championship when Silverfreak finally stepped into the ring with me. Your reigns before the Illuminatus were fraudulent, dating back to an event in the early 2000s, and you didn't even realize it. You don't even realize your third reign was really your first. But I see all things.. that's why it's my destiny to unite the Triad. That's why I came to the final chamber in the first two Illuminatus matches.. I couldn't win, because it wasn't my destiny yet. Now I see what I have to do.. the Amulet has given me the power to see the future, and my future is bright. Now it is my destiny.
Bifford looks around in the darkness and voices, sounding slightly like Buffy the Demon he summoned as a child, rise from the silence. "You were never OCW Champion," "it was an illegitimate title," "you'll never unite the triad," "you'll never make it to the Illuminatus." The whispering becomes faster, and the voices begin overlapping, making it difficult to understand. Bifford raises his hand and the voices stop.
Bifford: Those voices go on in my head constantly, Matthew Meyhu. They tell me that I'm not as good as you, but they lie. I am going to finish this story.. I'm going to unite the Triad. And you, nor any of the other ghosts of my past, can stop me. You're not even my biggest competition in this match..
The camera zooms in on Bifford's face.
Bifford: Kieran King, it's my schtick to pretend I don't know who people are. I know who you are. I know what you're made of. I'm not taking you lightly like I did The Penelope.
Bifford pronounced Penelope very badly and his face cringes slightly when he says it, almost as though he is remembering a specific moment from his last match that irritates him.
Bifford: Kieran, I know your weakness and I shall expose it to the world in Manhat -
Bifford awakens on a private airplane. He's wearing his Plethora robe but the hood is down. He looks up and sees that his sidekick Boris the Cannibal has been shaking his arm to wake him.
Boris (thick Russian accent): Boss, sorry to wake you but we have big news.. one of the guards send an email.. there are two new people in the jail at the Second Chance Ranch.
Bifford: Excellent.. we will need to go there immediately..
Boris nods and smiles as the scene fades slowly to darkness.
In a lab far under the surface of the earth, deep below a cult in WV, scientists scurry about. The camera zooms in and moves into an office where an older scientist with long white hair stands looking into a glass enclosure. Inside, hundreds of thousands of massive bugs flutter, fly, and dart about. His face shows his concern, his moral dilemma. Dr. Sylvio Rousch didn't know what to do. Nor did he know that behind him, in a burst of flames, Buffy the Demon had appeared.
Buffy: You don't want to go along with your boss's plan.
Sylvio just about jumped high enough to hit the ceiling. Turning he quickly lifted his hands in front of him in self-defense.
Buffy (laughing): If I wanted to hurt you, you'd have been in hell for a long time already..
Sylvio opened his mouth to respond, but then realized she was right.
Buffy: How long do you have until they're fully grown and can destroy your boss's "ancient enemy"?
Sylvio (hesitating, but then answering): They've been ready for a while.. but.. this plan.. it can't..
Buffy: You're right. It can't. Stall him. Tell him they'll get bigger.. just.. not yet.
The scientist turned to look into the enclosure with the insects, "Yet? I don't think we can ever morally.." his voice trailed off as he turned around and realized he was alone in the room again. Buffy had disappeared.
The screen went to darkness and lightened up again, it was up several floors from that lab - in the Second Chance Ranch's jail. Cornelius Cook, the black lawyer OCW fans would recognize from Kenny's trial, sits in the cell. He's not alone, however. An older man and Mario Maurako's son Mose Maurako are both in the cell with him. An elevator door on the other side of the prison bars opens and a large figure under a Plethora robe emerges. He pulls back his hood and it's Bifford. Walking up to the cell bars, he smirks inside.
Bifford: Ah, Mose Maurako.. I was hoping we'd meet in the last Illuminatus, but you didn't quite make it far enough.
Mose: Screw you, Bifford. Let me out of here.
Bifford: I will speak to Mario in Manhattan about your potential release. Or you might find you really don't want to go anywhere at all.. who the hell are you?
Bifford had turned his attention to the older man. A prison guard in a Plethora robe steps forward, "he's from Untitled's camp. Aunt Bella sent him back here. He speaks English, but doesn't talk much.."
Bifford looked at the man and began speaking in perfect French, "voulez-vous rejoindre mon culte?" The man's eyes lit up, hearing French, but then darkened as he heard the question. He didn't anything but just shook his head negatively.
Bifford: Well, you can both view some materials on our wonderful facility here and consider joining. I'd love to stay and hang out and chat, but I do have a big match to prepare for this week.
Cornelius: You're not going to win, Bifford.
Bifford: Shut up, Cornelius. If you wouldn't have LOST that trial, we wouldn't be in this mess.. Mose.. do you know Matthew Meyhu?
Bifford looks over at Mose who shakes his head no.
Bifford: Well.. he thinks he's turned me into Mario - but I don't brag because I've beaten Mario three times. I brag because I've pinned him three times clean in the middle. Yes, you have beaten me before.. but I don't have to pin you this time, Matthew Meyhu. I will just find the amulet - MY AMULET - and I will take it into the ring. You are difficult to pin, don't get me wrong.. but you are also not an expert at finding amulets. That's my personal expertise.. I may have failed to beat you in the past, but this week I get the victory that we all know Mario will never get over me. It won't be a massive shock like it would be if a Dangerous Dan or Duce or Alice or Mario Maurako pinned me, Meyhu. People will not gasp in surprise. They will just awaken to their new reality and the fact that I am not just going to collect the Wit Amulet week after week. I AM the freaking Wit Amulet!
Mose: You're forgetting about someone..
Bifford: No, Son of Mario, I am not. The man who stole my regular tradition and pinned your dad last week is very much on my mind. Kieran King isn't an afterthought in this match.. but he won't be finding the amulet. I have a certain.. connection.. with the amulet now, and it will call out to me. I will smash mirrors and use weapons and piledrive both of them until I find that amulet and then I will hold it so tightly that no force on earth could take it from me. It will crown me the King, not Kieran. But Kieran, after you lose this match and you realize that you're just not going to find your way to the Illuminatus, I would welcome you to join Mose and Untitled's buddy Henri here at the Second Chance Ranch. You could be an important part of our corporate structure.
Henri: Can we please get out of here?
Bifford: Only if your friend Untitled wants you free badly enough.. or if you're willing to put on the robe of Plethora and join us.. I'm told you're some sort of director, we could use some help. I can't get rid of the static at the beginning of any of our promotional materials.
Bifford and Henri stare at each other for a moment before being interrupted by Mose who bursts out with, "just let us out already!" Bifford rolls his eyes and begins walking back toward the elevator. "Play them the old promotional materials.. make them want to join. Put it on loop." Soft music and a commercial featuring Boris the Cannibal begins playing outside the cell as Bifford enters the elevator. The door closes behind him. The screen goes to darkness.
Somewhere outside of New York, Kenny and Earl in Plethora robes (with their hoods off) are riding on a Greyhound bus. Asleep in the seat behind them is Martin Ka'Berryon's ghost. They're leaning into one another and whispering and the camera zooms in to listen.
Kenny: He's building something underground and it's freaking me out.
Earl: There's nothing we can do. But I heard from my buddy back at the cult.
Kenny: Community.
Earl gives Kenny a dirty look.
Earl: Anyway, your Aunt Bella apparently kidnapped someone of Untitled's crew and Buffy kidnapped Mose. We're gonna be in shit if we don't kidnap one of Corey Black's people.
Kenny: We helped him win his match at Night 9.
Earl: Yeah, that's why we aren't in Biff's jail cell now. But our faces were seen. We gotta be more careful.
A burst of flames appears suddenly behind them and then Buffy the Demon appears. Martin's ghost wakes up and screams in horror. He runs toward the back of the bus. Being a ghost, he goes directly through the back wall of the bus, disappearing (into traffic?).
Kenny: Woah.. can ghosts.. die again?
Buffy laughs as she sees the ghost disappear and then turns back to the two.
Buffy: Listen.. Kenny, I know you're worried about the stuff going on under the Second Chance Ranch.
Kenny: Don't worry.. nice.. demon lady.. we won't do anything to get in Bifford's way.
Buffy lets out a little chuckle. "Normally, that would be what I want to hear.. but you guys might need to stop him this time. You see, I'm a demon from hell, but I've grown to enjoy visiting earth and messing with humans. That fucking son of a bitch is flirting with stuff that could end humanity. You guys are gonna have to be the heroes."
Earl: I don't want to be a hero.
Buffy lets out another chuckle. "Well, your choices are the extinction of the human race or standing up to your boss.. It's your choice. But what he has underground cannot be allowed to go forward.."
Kenny: Alright - well, how do we -
Both Kenny and Earl looked back, but Buffy was gone. They looked at one another with looks that showed they had the weight of the world on their shoulders.
Earl: If Bifford loses to Meyhu again..
Kenny: I'm scared of what he'll do..
The two men turn to face forward, their faces full of terror as the scene fades to darkness.
The scene lightens up and fans of OCW will remember the horrible scene that is replaying. "The girl. She has to die," the voice of Buffy the Demon would say over and over again in Bifford's mind. 12 year old Bifford was on a picnic in a clearing between two forests with his first girlfriend. Fans of OCW will remember the scene as Bifford begins to choke her from behind. The horrible sounds. The gargles. The silence. Young Bifford had killed his girlfriend, following the orders of the demon he summoned years earlier.
The 12 year old Bifford arose from the picnic blanket, the voices in his mind suddenly gone. He realized what he had done.
Running into the forest he found himself surrounded by nothing but trees. He heard laughter. The laughter of thousands of trees. They laughed. They laughed because she was gone.
He looked around, surrounded in every direction by trees. Laughing trees.
He screamed.
Darkness.