Post by Plethora the Perilous on Mar 17, 2024 19:57:06 GMT -5
The screen flashes from darkness to a moment of static to the image of Earl the Popcorn Salesman and Kenny the Intern on a Greyhound bus. Kenny looks forward, his eyes intense, like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. His small and nerdy frame hasn't changed much since Bifford and Earl "recruited" him from a high school 24 years ago, but his face has aged. Earl has a laptop in his lap and looks over at Kenny.
Earl: Uh.. we've been summoned back.
Kenny: That damn Buffy probably told him..
Earl: I don't think so, buddy. I think her visit to us last time was a legitimate warning. And this isn't just us.. he's summoned everyone back to the cult.
Kenny: Community.
The two men share an uncomfortable look.
Earl: Listen, we both know it's a cult.
Kenny: If he's summoned everyone back.. it must be something big. He's never particularly stable when he loses.
Earl: I knew he wasn't gonna beat Meyhu.. but.. anyway, you remember what that creepy demon woman Buffy said. If this is his "big plan" and whatever he's been building under the cult.. you're the one that has to stand up to him.
Kenny: Why me?
Earl: Demon lady said so.
Martin: It has to be you, Kenny.
Earl and Kenny look to the seat behind them where Martin Ka'Berryon's ghost is sitting. They share a look, wondering when he returned, but then go they go back to looking at Earl's laptop as the scene fades to darkness.
The scene opens up outside a fast food restaurant in West Virginia, however long time viewers will feel uncomfortable immediately upon seeing the sign. BIFFORD'S SANDWICHES OF PARTRIDGE glows in bright red, advertising exactly what is sold inside.. mainly.. partridge sandwiches. Supposedly. The camera zooms toward the restaurant and then moves in the front door. Seated at a table in the eatery, which seems nicer inside than the average fast-food restaurant, is The Big Bifford dressed in his Plethora robe, but with the hood down, and a man in a suit. Viewers of the brief post-Antartica OCW run will recognize him as the corrupt Mayor Joyce who protects Bifford's cult land in exchange for Bifford returning to the restaurant industry. The mayor eats a sandwich, but Bifford appears to just be watching him.
Mayor: Well, Mr. Benson, you might not have won your match this week.. but I've seen the lines down the road.. you're making a killing here.
Bifford: Yes, the restaurants are very successful.. I assume they're scratching your itch and we will continue our arrangement?
Mayor: Oh yeah, our arrangement is amazing. Other cities are paying us to take their homeless people. We drop them off in your little clearing in the field, and then they somehow magically disappear and sandwiches of partridge are plentiful.. These really are delicious.
Bifford: I'm glad you enjoy it. I assume my community has your blessing to continue to grow?
Mayor: The feds are awfully interested in your people.. but I've been able to keep them distracted with other stuff. Whenever they start asking questions about the Second Chance Ranch, I give them some other local unsavory folk, and they seem placated.
Bifford: Good, there's no reason we can't all enjoy sandwiches of partridge for years to come.
Mayor: What about you? Gonna hang it up? I mean.. you lost to Meyhu again.
Bifford: I'm not the type of wrestler who glories in beating the best and brightest. That's not my goal. I come in and I'm like a vulture. I prey on the weak and the insecure. I pin the Marios, the Duces, the Dans, and the Alices to entertain myself.. I maintain a reasonable record by doing this and I plan to do it as long as my legs will carry me to the ring. And after that I have a whole community full of robed people to carry me to the ring.
The mayor nods, appreciating the man's honesty.
Bifford: Speaking of preying on the weak and insecure.. boy do I have a doozy of a match this week. We've got this Cypher fellow and some wild doctor who might be a cosmic entity..
Mayor: Your business is a weird one, Mr. Benson.
Bifford: Cypher claims to be from a fake island called Australia. He's a hardened criminal who spent some hard time in jail, which is just another way of saying he got caught. He wants to remind me that the Triad isn't OCW, but as far as I'm concerned, Cypher will have as much success here as OCW. He's never gotten within 10 feet of the OCW Championship and he will never get within 10 feet of a Wit Amulet. I will piledrive him until he admits Australia is fake and that he is just a British government agent.
Mayor Joyce takes a bite of his sandwich, but looks at Bifford like he's out of his mind. He chews the bite, swallows, and then opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He takes a sip of his soft drink and then tries again.
Mayor: I think.. I think Australia exists, Mr. Benson.
Bifford: No, that's all lies and propaganda. I will expose Cypher and show the world that he doesn't have the wit to compete in the Illuminatus or unite the Triad.
Bifford looks directly into the camera, as though he's addressing Cypher directly.
Bifford: Cypher, I know you've lived a difficult life and life will continue to be difficult for you unless you address the main problem: You. Forget the lies you've been telling about where you're from, forget your past legal problems, and pledge your loyalty to me. Join the Second Chance Ranch, put on the robe of Plethora, and you can reach your goals. My community here in West Virginia is full of former convicts like yourself.. We don't ask people where they're from or what they've done, we just welcome them and put them to work. You don't have to tell anyone you're really British and are lying about the existence of a continent. You can just wear a cool robe and have a decent job. You won't have to wrestle anymore, because I'm going to piledrive you and walk over your carcass this week. You'll need to put your life together; you'll need a second chance.
Mayor: What about this cosmic entity doctor?
Bifford: Well.. some people in the wrestling industry are larger than life, and some attempt to make themselves larger than life. Doctor D'ville is the latter. He's creepy, he's dangerous, and he's violent.. that's a scary trifecta, but I'm the sort of thing that ol' Louis is really afraid of. His cosmic properties will be subdued when he's brawling with an actual Titan. I have no beef with him and when this match is done, I hope to never see him or his cosmic medical practice again. We have 3 doctors at the Second Chance Ranch, that's plenty, and Dr. D'ville doesn't need a second chance. He needs psychotherapy and honestly - he probably needs a nice relaxing vacation.
Mayor: If you think he needs psychotherapy.. that's.. that's really saying something.
Bifford glared at the mayor for a moment, but then remembered that he needs the Mayor to keep his community safe. He let the comment go and began standing, "well, I hope you enjoy your meal, Mr. Mayor.."
Mayor: Mr. Benson, I'm here at least 4 times a week and every time it's spectacular.
Bifford smiled and nodded, stepping toward the door. "Well, I'm glad you enjoy the product so much," Bifford said as he walked toward the door. Opening the door, he pulled his hood up and then added, "you psychotic cannibalistic freak," in a very low tone that could be heard by the home viewer but not the mayor. Bifford was joined by several other people in black robes. They all walk down the street together anonymously as the scene faded to darkness.
In the office of the lab far underground, beneath the Second Chance Ranch, a scientist with long white hair sits at his desk. As he's been seen in the last two episodes, he appears extremely stressed out. He lets out a scream as a woman appears in a burst of flames. The flames disappear and Buffy the demon that Bifford summoned as a child is standing there. The scientist, Dr. Sylvio Rousch, doesn't say a word, but just looks at her with his mouth open in terror.
Buffy: Has Bifford been down here recently?
Sylvio: Mr. Benson checks in on the.. insects.. often.
Buffy: Does he know they're ready yet?
Sylvio: No. Just like you instructed me, I've been telling him they're not ready. But he wants to release them "before Niagara Falls." I don't know what that means.
The demon woman smiles at him as she disappears into a burst of flames. Dr. Sylvio Rousch was alone in his office again. He laid his head down on his desk.. his heart beating wildly. He rested in the most restless way as the scene faded to darkness.
A camera on a drone high above the Second Chance Ranch shows a massive property in West Virginia surrounded by a wall and fencing. What appears to be hundreds of row houses, mobile homes, and bungalows litter the property. The camera lowers and an amazing sight comes into focus: hundreds of people in Plethora Robes gathered around a stage. The buzz of the crowd, lots of people talking and laughing, looks incredibly creepy since everyone has their hood up and is anonymous to the viewer.
Suddenly a larger Plethora emerges from the crowd of 200+ and steps up on the stage accompanied by two others. Once on the stage, the larger Plethora removes his hood. It's Bifford. The crowd pops. Bifford smiles his charming smile and pulls a wireless microphone out of his robe.
Bifford: Welcome all. I'm glad you've all returned from your assignments. It is important for us to have this meeting to discuss the future..
Bifford snaps his fingers and the hood of the robed man to his left comes off as though Bifford can do magic. Under the hood is Henri Bonhomme, Untitled's Director.
Bifford: We welcome Henri Bonhomme, who will be working in the video production department. Welcome Henri.
The crowd politely cheers for him and he steps off the stage.
Bifford: Now I would like to announce some personnel changes. My right-hand assistants for many decades Kenny the Intern and Earl the Popcorn Salesman have been reassigned due to their failure in capturing any members of Corey Black's team. We celebrate victories in this community, but we must also punish losses.. They did not finish the job, so Earl has been reassigned to lead the Second Chance Ranch postal division, and Kenny will be Deputy Director of the Department of Sanitation.
The camera zooms into the crowd of robed people and finds Kenny and Earl. Kenny hisses, "that bastard.. he lost Night 10 and he reassigns us?" Earl quickly responds, "shut up."
Bifford: Taking their places as my right hand will be.. Boris the Cannibal..
Boris pulls the hood off his robe and walks to the stage proudly, stepping up and standing behind Bifford, obviously proud of his promotion.
Bifford: Replacing Earl will be our newest member..
Bifford motions toward the other hooded, robed member on stage. Nobody can see his face.
Bifford: Mose Maurako..
The crowd lets out an audible gasp. And then begins wildly applauding.
Bifford: Mose will keep his hood on.. but we all know he's definitely under there.
In the crowd, the camera is still with Earl and Kenny. "If that's really Mose, why isn't he taking the hood down? Boris took the hood down!" Earl shushes him and whispers, "shut up, you'll get us thrown in jail."
Bifford: It's definitely Mose Maurako under that hood. Anyone who denies it will end up in the jail.. which definitely no longer contains Mose Maurako.
In the crowd, Kenny turns to face Earl. "I need to get into that jail.. we need to know the truth." Earl shakes his head, partially visible under the robe. "You idiot."
Back on the stage, Bifford takes his attention off the robed figure that might or might not be Mose Maurako.
Bifford: In a few weeks, we will finally decisively defeat an enemy I've had since childhood.. Far under the ground we are standing on is a lab - I know some of you heard it being build, I know some of you continue to hear things coming from underground. Our community is totally transparent.. so I can reveal that it is a science lab where we've been researching how to take out my oldest enemy.. Go back to your tasks, my friends, my children.. We hold another meeting after I defeat Cypher and D'ville. I will stand over their lifeless piledriven corpses, step over that fake Australian and crazy doctor and hold my portion of the key up. I will unite the Triad and drag my team up 12 floors to victory.
The crowd of robed individuals begin applauding loudly.