Post by MW on Jul 17, 2023 11:32:31 GMT -5
~We cut to inside Marcus Welsh's chartered boat. We can probably call it a yacht. Not sure it's big enough to be considered a yacht...or if there is really a size where a boat becomes a yacht. Might have to look that up. Give me a second. Oh, wow, it's apparently 35 feet. So let's call this boat a 34 footer. Welsh stands behind a bar, mixing himself a Gin & Tonic~
Marcus Welsh: Hello TRIAD faithful. This is Marcus Welsh aboard his glorious yacht.
~A camera man interrupts with an over the top cough. Welsh looks at him like 'wtf'? But, he continues~
Marcus Welsh: We all witnessed Team Welsh dominate last week's Trials. And if you disagree with that statement then you have no vision. It's clear Team Welsh set themselves up last week to go on a historic run. I don't want to say we're going to go 12-0 the rest of the way but...well, we'll just leave it at that.
~A man walks in front of the camera carrying a tape measurer~
Marcus Welsh: Where are you going?
Man: To, umm, measure my dick.
Marcus Welsh: Right.
~Welsh snaps his fingers and the man is promptly thrown overboard. We know this via a Wilhelm Scream~
Marcus Welsh: We're one week away from a dominating Team Welsh performance in Puerto Rico...so, I'm more than happy to explain where we'll be in Puerto Rico and what type of locations we've got set up for the 12 competitors daring enough to partake in these trials.
~Welsh pulls down a map of Puerto Rico. He starts to point and realizes he has no idea how to read a map of Puerto Rico so he just waves his hand around the entire land mass~
Marcus Welsh: We will be hosting Night 2 of the Trials from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico!
~A light clap from the few people inside the 'yacht'. He pulls down another image~
Marcus Welsh: Unlike last week which had a 'static' location...this week we'll be jumping around. Give the city a good tour. Our first match will take place from this landmark...
Marcus Welsh: Helena Handbasket, Thaddeus Duke, and Catalina Cortes will battle it out inside a TRIAD ring set up at The Old Aguadilla Lighthouse Ruins
~Welsh pulls another slide down~
Marcus Welsh: For Match 2 we'll make our way into the city, giving the locals a chance to set up and enjoy what should be a contender for match of the year.
Marcus Welsh: Vhodka Black, Sarah Wolf, and Penelope will compete in the heart of Aguadilla, right in the middle of town square!
~Welsh pulls down another slide~
Marcus Welsh: And, in our third match of the evening, we'll take to a residential area of the city.
Marcus Welsh: MERICA, Stephen Stratford, and Lachlan Kane will compete at the base of this busy, popular residential area with all its inhabitants looking down, watching...a true spectacle!
~Welsh reaches for a final slide~
Marcus Welsh: And then, in our main event, after having visited a place for tourists, a place for business, and a place for residents...LCP, Alexander Raven, and Matt Knox will attempt to tear the city apart as they battle it out throughout Aguadilla...their fists, kicks, and whatever else dictating their location.
~Welsh pulls down the final slide. We see 4-0~
Marcus Welsh: It'll be a great night in Aguadilla and a great night for Team Welsh. 4-0 here we come!
~We fade out~
Marcus Welsh: Hello TRIAD faithful. This is Marcus Welsh aboard his glorious yacht.
~A camera man interrupts with an over the top cough. Welsh looks at him like 'wtf'? But, he continues~
Marcus Welsh: We all witnessed Team Welsh dominate last week's Trials. And if you disagree with that statement then you have no vision. It's clear Team Welsh set themselves up last week to go on a historic run. I don't want to say we're going to go 12-0 the rest of the way but...well, we'll just leave it at that.
~A man walks in front of the camera carrying a tape measurer~
Marcus Welsh: Where are you going?
Man: To, umm, measure my dick.
Marcus Welsh: Right.
~Welsh snaps his fingers and the man is promptly thrown overboard. We know this via a Wilhelm Scream~
Marcus Welsh: We're one week away from a dominating Team Welsh performance in Puerto Rico...so, I'm more than happy to explain where we'll be in Puerto Rico and what type of locations we've got set up for the 12 competitors daring enough to partake in these trials.
~Welsh pulls down a map of Puerto Rico. He starts to point and realizes he has no idea how to read a map of Puerto Rico so he just waves his hand around the entire land mass~
Marcus Welsh: We will be hosting Night 2 of the Trials from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico!
~A light clap from the few people inside the 'yacht'. He pulls down another image~
Marcus Welsh: Unlike last week which had a 'static' location...this week we'll be jumping around. Give the city a good tour. Our first match will take place from this landmark...
Marcus Welsh: Helena Handbasket, Thaddeus Duke, and Catalina Cortes will battle it out inside a TRIAD ring set up at The Old Aguadilla Lighthouse Ruins
~Welsh pulls another slide down~
Marcus Welsh: For Match 2 we'll make our way into the city, giving the locals a chance to set up and enjoy what should be a contender for match of the year.
Marcus Welsh: Vhodka Black, Sarah Wolf, and Penelope will compete in the heart of Aguadilla, right in the middle of town square!
~Welsh pulls down another slide~
Marcus Welsh: And, in our third match of the evening, we'll take to a residential area of the city.
Marcus Welsh: MERICA, Stephen Stratford, and Lachlan Kane will compete at the base of this busy, popular residential area with all its inhabitants looking down, watching...a true spectacle!
~Welsh reaches for a final slide~
Marcus Welsh: And then, in our main event, after having visited a place for tourists, a place for business, and a place for residents...LCP, Alexander Raven, and Matt Knox will attempt to tear the city apart as they battle it out throughout Aguadilla...their fists, kicks, and whatever else dictating their location.
~Welsh pulls down the final slide. We see 4-0~
Marcus Welsh: It'll be a great night in Aguadilla and a great night for Team Welsh. 4-0 here we come!
~We fade out~