Record Scratch

Lewis is seen running down an alley. Blood dripped from his face and an extremely worried look as he was constantly looking back over his shoulder at the mob chasing him.

FREEZE FRAME

Lewis is frozen mid stride. It looks as if he’s a cartoon character hovering in midair.

Narrator:
Yup. That’s LCP. You’re probably wondering how he got into this situation…. Well it all started when he got confused and went to meet someone special to thank him for the chance to pluck the feathers of Matt Knox and he supposes the other Raven.

**~~**
Several Hours Earlier
**~~**

Lewis is seen slinking along a brick wall. Whenever someone would approach him, he would quickly cover his face and turn away. Were they looking at him? Probably not, but Lewis was determined to keep himself under the guise of anyominity.

That was until he reached a large pair of Oak Doors. He jingled the handle and to his surprise the door opened without much effort.

Slowly he walks into a large park. Why were there doors to a park you ask yourself? Well for those fortunate enough they can have whatever they desire. Luscious green grass as far as the eye could see, trees tower overhead and cast dark shadows.

Lewis takes a few steps in and glances around the park. It’s seemingly empty. “My intel told me he would be here.”

Who is Lewis looking for? If his history gives you anything to ponder it could be anyone. Ron DeSantis. Baseball Legend Julio Franco. The reanimated corpse of TuPac. It was none of those people however. “There he is!”

Lewis begins running towards a man in the distance. “Is he fencing?” Lewis doesn’t think anything of it as his pursuit continues. As he gets closer the man stands slightly taller than himself and his build is similar to that of McDonald's Grimace, which should’ve told Lewis all he needed. However he pressed on.

As Lewis reaches for the man the foil quickly makes contact with the throat of Lewis, who stops in an instant and places both hands up.

“Why?” The man speaks in a hushed tone and is slightly obscured from the fencing mask.

“Why what? I’m just looking for…” The tip of the foil is pressed deeper into Lewis’s throat.

“I don’t know what or who you’re looking for, but I'm afraid you’ve swam too deep into the depths.” You could feel a sense of pure anger and hatred from the man, however Lewis didn’t seem bothered at all.

“Listen man.” Lewis slowly grabs the foil from his neck and places it in his chest. “First off that’s off target and won’t count as a point, and secondly I wanted to come here and thank you, Stratford.”

“Thank me? For what you bumbling idiot?” The man raises the foil again to Lewis’ throat.

Lewis swallows hard and licks his lips. “For leaving Knox breathing for me to embarrass him. You could’ve easily struck down that genetic super soaker with ease, but I can’t help but think you left some skin on the bone for me. That and still giving me a chance in the points.” Lewis once again grabs the foil and slides it to his chest. “So, Uhh thanks.”

“I honestly have no clue what you’re talking about.” The man drops the foil so that the tip is facing the ground and begins to take off the fencing mask. Standing before Lewis is, you guessed it, Steven Seagal. “Just know that the destination is only as fruitful as the journey.”

“Shit… wrong Steven. You know you kinda look like a friend of mine. Do you know Mo?.” Lewis smirks in the only way that Lewis can. “ Forget that, better question. Do you know where I can find Stephen Stratford?”

“I don’t have time for you. So in the next minute you better get out of my sight. After that I cannot guarantee your safety.” Steven cracks his neck.

Lewis takes a step forward. “Oh yeah and if I don’t, what are you going to do?”

“Thirty seconds. And I told you already but if that’s the route you want to take.” Steven takes a step towards Lewis. “What do you want me to tell your family about what happened here?”

Lewis mulls over the question for exactly three seconds. “I’ll leave. I loved you in Dragon Squad.” Lewis throws up a peace sign and bolts from the park.

As he reaches the door he boots it open and looks back at Steven. Lewis waves as Mr. Seagal shakes his head and slides his mask back on to his face.

HOWEVER…

When Lewis booted the door open he just so happened to knock the door into a man playing a guitar. “Oh shit. Mah bad man. Didn’t realize it was the Festival De La Musica already.”

Lewis begins to help the man up. As he pulls the man up he stares deep into Lewis’ eyes. “Good luck finding the Triad.”

Lewis tilts his head. “You speak English?”

“Team PIC sends their regards.” The man whistles and within a few seconds people come pouring out of the alleys. All of them have some sort of weapon in their hands.

“What the fuck…. Not even Welch’s? Pic The Bitch?”

Lewis shoves the man to the ground and begins a desperate bolt down the street. Dipping and dodging people just going about their everyday lives.

“MOVE!” Lewis bellows as he spins past a woman pushing a stroller.

“MOVE!” Lewis Heisman stiff arms a man into a vendor cart causing a mess.

“MOVE!!!!!” At the last second Lewis slides under a sheet of glass that was being carried by two men. More people barely get out of the way as Lewis continues to barrel down the street. Lewis looks back and the mob is still chasing him.

WHAM!

CRASH!

Lewis cuts his head back and crashes head first into a cart full of Rambutan. The red innards cover Lewis’ body and it looks as if he’s bleeding from his head.

Lewis struggles to get to his feet. The fruit caused his feet to slip and slide. He gets to his feet and thankfully for him the crash slows down the mob.

Lewis darts between the cars in the road and slides into an alley. He ducks behind a dumpster and tries to catch his breath. Holding his hand to his chest.

“Puerto Rican Mob Justice aside. This was a really nice way for me to get the lay of the land for my street fight.” Lewis continues to breathe hard.

Narrator:
REALLY THAT’S WHAT YOUR CONCERNED WITH!?!

“Yeah. Why else would I be here if I’m not scouting?” Lewis has finally caught his breath. “I didn’t come here just to join up and have a party. I really want a new Nintendo Switch and the Triad is that opportunity.”

Narrator:
There are easier ways to go about procuring that.

“I know but Pheely said I had to earn a new one after I got beer spilled on mine that night with Welch’s.” Lewis peeks his head around the dumpster and watches as a few of the mob run past.

Narrator:
She meant like getting a job or some other way to earn money.

“Sure whatever.” Lewis takes a deep breath. “Well it all worked out okay. Knox said something on Twitter that I took a completely different direction.”

Narrator:
He pseudo mentioned Pheely didn’t he?

“Yeah and it got me thinking.”

Narrator:
That’s never a good thing.

“True but also I’m fairly certain there’s an underlying reason why Knox has so many kiddos.”

Narrator:
I’m fairly certain he just sticks his dick wherever is available.

“Maybe, but then again I’m pretty sure it’s a lactation fetish.” Lewis holds up both hands and pushes them out. “Look I’m not here to kink shame, actually I’m here to help you believe it or not. Well not you, but your bank account and all those support payments and the only reason you’re still doing this at like a hundred and five. Like you know you can induce lactation without pregnancy right? It’s not as uncommon as you’d think Knox. So just wrap your jimmy-jam up and get the ladies some hormonal therapy, man. Or yourself, again totally not judging you.” Lewis just shakes his head. “I just know you’ll say something creepy like, it doesn’t taste as sweet, but god man put your dick away. No one wants more of you…. Not even you”

Narrator:
FACTS!

“And most certainly anyone who’s watched a boring, dry, woe is me promo. None of us want that.”

Narrator:
You’ve narrowed your focus too much Lewis. Expand your thoughts.

“Oh, you're right.” Lewis nods and then claps his hands together. “Let us not forget the other Raven. I’m sorry, the actually named Raven. Or as you want to be called the ‘OG’ Raven. The only Raven in this match that is worth a damn.” A slight chuckle from Lewis. “Wrong. Sorry. I said that wrong. I meant the only Raven that uses their name and doesn’t copy Edgar Allan Poe. You just use your name and people make assumptions. It’s okay Welch’s was probably so hungover when he picked you he thought he was getting a GOAT, and not some facsimile of one.”

Narrator:
People are going to get that reference, right?

“Who the hell cares, I get it and that’s what matters most.” Lewis peeks his head out around the dumpster and then pulls it back.

Narrator:
I’m not entirely sure about that.

“Listen to me. This whole charade has been all about me. Two main events. They need me to give ole Knoxxy and Seagull the LCP rub.” Lewis pauses for a moment and then quickly shakes his head. “Get your heads out of the gutter Knoxxxy and to a lesser extent Pidgeotto. This ain’t that type of deal. I bring eyes to The Triad. I bring excitement wherever I go. The most Knoxxxxy brings to anything is a fancy stroller that can Sherpa around ten infants, and Toucan Sam over there is too busy buying the hype that Welch’s’ is throwing on Twitter to understand anything even remotely close to what is about to happen.”

Narrator:
Please Elaborate.

“Don’t mind if I do.” A quick clasp of his hands. “If I nearly, allegedly, set the ring side on fire in an attempt to get a win, in a match with rules…” Lewis looks around and then smiles. “What the fuck do you think I’m allegedly going to do in an environment where there are none? A match that isn’t about out wrestling someone or how good their mat skills are. One that plays right into my strength… unpredictably. A fight that makes sure the field is even. A fight that only has one logical solution.” Lewis nods and continues. “That’s not to take away from either of you. I’m sure you can fight in these situations. Hell I’d be disappointed if you couldn’t. That’s the thing about the two of you… disappointing until the end. So talk about how Stratford broke your family Knoxxxxxy or how you’re going to get revenge on being the FIRST loser in The Triad’s history Yellow Angry Bird. This time my antics can’t be foreseen and can’t be punished. You are going into the fight of your lives with the one. The only.”

Narrator:
Often Mimicked. Never Replicated.

“L.” Pause for tension so that Sonny the Cuckoo Bird can catch up. “C.” A pause for slightly longer than the expectancy of a Knoxxxxxx relationship. “P.”

Narrator:
Shit. Lewis they are back.

A few of the Mob members stop at the alley and begin to search.

“Until after I murder both Ravens. Do you get it? Well I don’t have time to explain everything to you.” Lewis smiles and winks before taking off down the alley.

The Mob members point out Lewis, call the others to join and begin the chase all over. Lewis runs down the alley. Fruit dripped from his face and the extremely worried look was back as he was constantly looking back at the mob chasing him.

Fade